Growth and Healing

I have been going thru my Facebook timeline today from last year looking for something; reading all my posts and interactions and can't believe how much more spunky, sassy, and outgoing I was when I was on my medication. Have thought a few times about getting back on it, but then I think about how much my life has changed in the past few years. In many ways, I am the same person I have always been; but I am also stronger now. I know what I'm capable of, who I can trust and depend on, and I no longer put up with people's crap to "keep the peace" or whatever else. I have seen myself grow and become unafraid to speak out in fear- of hurting others, what they would think, etc, regardless of how staying silent would affect me (or those close to me). I am in one of the best places I've ever been in my life- I have a husband who adores me; a strong marriage; family and friends who would do anything for me; a job and work family who I absolutely love; a God who never lets me down (nor ceases to amaze me); while I still struggle with my fibromyalgia, I am working on it, and I haven't felt this good physically in several months; and others have told me they haven't seen me this happy in years, if ever. I have only been off my medication since January, and I know my body, mind, and heart are still adjusting in a lot of ways. I don't feel like I need it to function. Could I be happier? More upbeat? Do I miss my "bubbly" self? Yes- but for the first time in my entire life (even as a small child) I can honestly say I don't feel some kind of horrible depression. So I am going to wait a few more months, give myself a full year, and see how it goes. I know I am ultimately the only one responsible for my life and my happiness. And I deserve to give myself a chance.